Using Emotional Intelligence (EQ) to make you a better leader

emotionalintelligenceAt dinner last week, Amanda Davie, talked extensively about Leadership and the role of Emotional Intelligence at our latest Women’s only TableCrowd dinner.

Amanda introduced her fellow diners to the 4 main areas of EQ: self awareness, self management, social awareness and social management, whilst explaining that EQ is very fashionable in leadership at the moment and is becoming part of the board level interview for some. Read on to find out what else is involved in emotional intelligence.

Self Awareness. Women tend to have more self awareness than men

Self Confidence. Men score quite high on self confidence (not aggression, mind) as they don’t lack self belief as much as women. Women struggle with a lack of self worth

Optimism. Thinking positively is a must when it comes to incorporating EQ into your leadership skills.

Adaptability. Being agile and flexible to change is an important part of EQ

Self Control. Usually women are weaker at this as men are able to zip in their self control much more effectively.

Relationship Skills. Women are hard-wired to build trust and rapport, so it’s not surprising that they beat their male counterparts at relationship skills hands down.

Self reliance. Being able to feel confident in what you know, and trusting yourself. It’s important not to let insecurities to get in.

Straightforwardness. Nobody wants to be involved with a Jekyll and Hyde character whether it’s in the workplace or on a personal level. When the pressure is on, people can change and turn, becoming unrecognisable to those around them. Ensure you are straightforward by delivering clear and consistent messages. Practice what you preach, as they say. Always try to remain clam and have good body language. A straightforward leader asks for feedback and gives balanced feedback constructively, whilst also having the self confidence to be on the receiving end too.

Empathy. Something that’s woefully lacking in business. Empathetic leaders make you feel heard. Remember it gives employees a sense of calm and safe. Make one-to-one time for employees you need to motivate, and be sure to tap in to your listening skills too (silence is the key). When you understand others, you can see their greatness.

Self Actualisation. Men normally score better than women.  Self actualisation has two parts:

  1.  the work life balance
  2. knowing what is meaningful to you and proactively planning this.

It is knowing what fuels you and investing in it. You must make time to do this. Leaders should demonstrate that they do what is important to them. It is well-known that women put others first, as we are innately ‘the carers’.

Women are natural-born carers.

You need to have a self actualisation plan as you need balance.

Essentially, EQ is just advanced people skills. If you have happy, loyal people they will give more.

For more from our after dinner speakers, check out our Tips blog posts.

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